If asked, “Who do you think of as an effective communicator,” whose name would you give?
Perhaps Mr. Rogers or Oprah Winfrey? Talk show hosts like Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, or the hosts of Good Morning America? All are effective communicators.
What makes them effective communicators? This week we recap the key skills of effective communication, including the 5 steps to effective listening.
As discussed in the first of this three-part series, research reveals that many leaders fail at communication on two fronts: (1) making or having time for communication, and (2) taking a genuine interest in people (learning their names, their stories, their passions, etc.).
So, start by (1) taking control of your time. The studies are clear – the leader who is chasing and putting out fires is disconnected from their people and described as a “failed communicator.” Begin by learning to manage your time effectively so you can be available and present for your people. Then, (2) engage with your people. Try asking those around you this simple question, “What’s your story, Sally?” Learn their names, birthdays, and interests.
Look at these photos of Oprah, Mr. Rogers, and Jimmy Fallon. Notice how open, approachable, calm, trustworthy, and engaged they are? Observe their mastery of each of the below nonverbal communication skills that convey this:
As you master these skills you too will find that people connect with you, trust you, feel valued by you, engage with you, and look to you as a leader.
So, you’ve made time to be present and you engage with your people. Your body language conveys openness, trustworthiness, and willingness to engage. What then?
The next step then is to truly listen. Genuinely and empathetically listen. But, how do you empathetically listen? There are five steps taught by Becoming Your Best:
If you practice these steps. You’ll truly listen to people, and they will feel both heard and valued. They’ll also look to you for your listening ear and as a trusted leader.
Make time for your people, engage with them, and master your body language towards genuinely and empathetically listening. Just listen, and confirm that you understand. This is the foundation to effective communication. You’ll build the relationship and connect first. Then, when the time is right, be honest and sincere, and you’ll find the right words.
Wars have started from poor communication and wars have been avoided through effective communication. The same can be true in the wars–and peacemaking–of our professional and personal lives. You’ll find that when mastered, these skills lead to deep and meaningful relationships at work and outside of work. That’s becoming your best.
This blog is the third of a three-part series on communication that will revamp, revive, and rebuild your communication skills. Click here to read Part 1. Click here to read Part 2.
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” – Epictetus
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