The #1 predictor of resilience in kids is “having a stable, supportive adult presence in their life.” That makes senses.
What’s the surprising #2 predictor? You’ll be shocked with this one, and it’s application to leaders and organizations!
The #2 Predictor of Resilience
Studies have found that “the more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, [and] the higher their self-esteem.” This factor was in fact “the best single predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness.” These kids had what one researcher called “a strong ‘intergenerational self.’ They know they belong to something bigger than themselves” (Bruce Feiler, “The Stories That Bind Us,” The New York Times, March 15, 2013).
So, the #2 predictor is a knowledge of and connection to ancestors — a sense of belonging and even identity that transcends daily living. Kids (and all people) find resilience in an ancestor’s honest successes and failures and in learning how they weathered the storms of life.
Proof from 9/11 Attacks
A study of those affected by the tragedy of September 11, 2001 found that the people who “knew more about their families proved to be more resilient, meaning they could moderate the effects of stress.” Researchers further found that honest and truthful stories, the stories of natural “ups and downs,” rather than exaggerated positives or negatives, were the most helpful stories.
Writer Bruce Feiler concludes, “If you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come” (Bruce Feiler, “The Stories That Bind Us,” The New York Times).
First: Individual Ancestry
So, if you want to be more resilient, and if you want to raise resilient children, there is a lesson here: learn the stories of your ancestors. What were their challenges, their failures? What where their victories and greatest moments? When were they happy? Connect to them, and you will find identity, commitment, purpose, meaning, and motivation to keep on going when the going gets tough.
Second: Organizational and Trade Ancestry
Ancestry doesn’t have to be tied to family. Do you think women pilots today find inspiration and strength in the story of Amelia Earhart? Absolutely!
Do you think Disney employees find inspiration, motivation, connection, identity, and purpose from the founding stories of Walt Disney? Absolutely!
Whether looking at your trade, nation, religion, or your organization, there will be pioneers, legends, and ancestors that can inspire you. Think Walt Disney, Henry Ford, Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, Amelia Earhart, the Wright Brothers, Jesus Christ, Gandhi, Muhammad, Oprah Winfrey, Florence Nightingale, Jane Austen, Jack Welch, Zig Ziglar, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill, Queen Elizabeth I, and so many more!
Finding and learning about trade, national, or organizational ancestors also creates identity, purpose, motivation, commitment, and resilience. So, learn about them, be inspired by them, and let their successes and failures be stepping stones in your life’s journey!
Wrapping Up
This journey called life requires resilience. It requires a “never-give-up” mindset. Knowing and connecting to the stories of your ancestors — whether familial or organizational — can give you the mental and emotional strength and courage to face and conquer your challenges, keep your chin up, and fight the good fight! That’s becoming your best!
“If you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.”— Bruce Feiler
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